This is a great activity that you won't use just one time! This activity is something you can use ALL YEAR LONG to help your students express how they are feeling, their emotions, and why without blaming the other peer involved. Often times when a student has their feelings change or hurt, they instantly place blame on the other student. This likely results in students arguing, talking rudely to one another, and possibly use their hands on one another to express just how powerful their emotions are as a result. Teaching and modeling with your students how to use I Statements will allow your students to express how they are feeling, explain what occurred that made them feel that way, and share what they would like to happen next.
You can use various examples that fit your classroom culture and age of your students. Below are some examples of how students might use You Statements to express how they feel currently:
You're wrong, not me!
You did it! You broke the tower!
You made me drop my tray!
You are lying!
You aren't letting me play.
You keep running away from me.
You made me so angry!
Often times our students respond and react to situations with these You Statements immediately placing blame on the opposing peer. Even if the opposing peer is at fault for what occurred it is important for your students to use I Statements to express how they feel, they, and what needs to be done. I Statements allow your students to take ownership for how they are feeling in a clear and concise way so that the other peer is able to listen and understand how their actions affected them. Using I Statements also allows for more respectful and kind dialogue to continue between the peers without students raising their voices or possibly hurting friendships as a result of yelling at one another.
When you hear a student say "You knocked my tower over!" prompt them to say "I feel _______, when you __________, and I want _________." The student may say "I feel angry, when you knocked my tower over, and I want your help to fix it." With this example, the student expresses how they feel, why they feel that way, and what they want to happen to make it better. This allows the student that is wronged to clearly express themselves. It also allows the student who caused the negative feelings to understand how their actions affected a peer and what they can do to make it right.
Implementing I Statements can be a challenge when trying to ensure that your students are doing so correctly and following through with them. Implementing I Statements will take time, modeling, and for you to be present and help guide students to use them during the correct situations. Start slow when modeling and implementing I Statements and help guide your students through the process when a situation arises. Students will need time to learn the new language of sharing their emotions, the causes, and the actions they need to be done to make it right. In time your students will become very familiar with the language and it will become the new normal for them when expressing themselves with their peers!
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